


Will the Real Rose Quartz Please Stand Up?

by CoreyWW



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Canon-Typical Violence, Comedy, Confusion, Cute, False Accusations, Gen, Homeworld (Steven Universe), Homeworld Gems - Freeform, Humor, Mistaken Identity, Paranoia, Stupidity
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-18
Updated: 2018-04-18
Packaged: 2019-04-24 15:41:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,580
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14358525
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CoreyWW/pseuds/CoreyWW
Summary: Yellow Diamond sends out a description to all her soldiers of "Rose Quartz's" new form, describing her as "short, stocky, and over-enthusiastic."The problem is the Ruby Squad reads this and thinks that describesall of them. So much so that one of them starts to think maybe they really are Rose Quartz ...





	Will the Real Rose Quartz Please Stand Up?

“Alright Rubies,” Doc said as the rest of the Ruby Squad sat around a table. “We’ve gotta find Rose Quartz!”

Leggy leaned forward. She had a hard time keeping track of things, so it was important that she paid close attention.

“GRRR! I HATE ROSE QUARTZ, WE GOTTA GET HER!” Army said. She turned to Navy next to her. “What did she do again?”

“Oh ... I don’t remember,” Navy said.

Eyeball grumbled and palmed her face.

“She shattered Pink Diamond,” she said. “And shot us into space. And then kidnapped _me_.”

“Oh, of course!” Navy said.

Leggy blinked.

“I thought you said she saved you,” Leggy said, tilting her head.

“Hmph. _Details_!”

“ _Enough_!” Doc said. She held out a datapad. “Yellow Diamond has sent all soldiers a detailed description of Rose Quartz, so pay attention.” Doc cleared her throat and began to read. “‘The traitor Rose Quartz can shapeshift and currently takes a much shorter form, is stocky, and has an over-enthusiastic demeanor. It is advised to treat anyone who has information on Rose Quartz with suspicion. All soldiers are ordered to charge at Rose Quartz with reckless abandon and complete disregard for collateral damage on sight with no regard for personal safety. Thank you.’” Doc smiled. “Aww, she said thank you. Our Diamond is the best.”

“What a nice leader,” Navy said.

Army growled and slapped the table again.

“That’s not a lot to go on! I mean ... short and over-enthusiastic? That just sounds like us!” she said.

“It does?” Leggy said.

“Yeah ...” Doc placed the datapad on the table. She rubbed her chin. “Yeah, it does.”

Army narrowed her eyes.

“Hey, yeah ...”

Doc looked from one Ruby to the other, before her eyes settled on Army. Army looked back, glaring. After an uncomfortable silence, they both stood up. Doc pointed accusingly at Army.

“Alright, the jig is up, Rose Quartz!” Doc said.

Leggy blinked.

“Huh?” she said.

Eyeball’s brow furrowed.

“What in the Diamond’s name are you--” But Eyeball was cut off.

“ME?! _You’re_ obviously Rose Quartz!” Army shouted back at Doc. “I knew it! I knew it the whole time!”

“You only just found out Rose Quartz was even around _from me_!” Doc screamed.

“WELL, YOU WOULD BE THE ONE TO KNOW, WOULDN’T YOU, ROSE QUARTZ!”

“Why would I tell you about Rose Quartz if _I_ was Rose Quartz?!”

Army growled.

“Well ... all I know is that if it isn’t you, it’s probably her!” Army said, pointing at Navy.

Navy, who had been sitting with a ditzy smile on her face the whole time, suddenly looked shocked.

“Me?” Navy said.

“Yeah, you!” Army said. “Maybe that’s how you got that ship back! With your, like ... rebel ... ties! To rebels!”

Navy threw her hands up.

“That ... that’s not true,” she said in her bubbly voice. “I’m not Rose Quartz.” Her eyes drifted to Leggy before pointing to her. “She is!”

Doc and Army both said, “She is?!”

“ _I am_?” Leggy said. She must have missed something important, cause she didn’t _think_ that was true up until now.

“Yeah! You told me, remember?” Navy said sweetly. “You said you were Rose Quartz and you shattered Pink Diamond and all that.” She smiled and reached over to pat Leggy on the shoulder. “You just forgot, sweetie.”

“I did?” Leggy glanced down at the ground. “I guess maybe I could have ...”

Eyeball gritted her teeth and stood up as well.

“Are all of you just forgetting that the new Ruby wasn’t _even made when Pink Diamond was shattered_?” Eyeball screamed. “In fact, _none of you were_.”

Navy blinked, then put her finger to her mouth.

“Oh right ...” Navy said.

“Oh yeah,” Doc said, nodding to Eyeball. “Yeah, you were the only one around back then.”

Army rubbed her chin.

“Yeah ... you _were_ around back then, Ruby ... or should I say, ROSE QUARTZ?!” Army pointed at Eyeball.

“WHAT?!” Eyeball said, looking disgusted.

“Think about it,” Army said. “Have you ever seen that Ruby and Rose Quartz ... in the same place ... at the same time?!”

Eyeball paused before shouting, “... _YES_! Yes you have. We’ve seen her and ALL OF US at the same time! In fact, _we’ve all seen what she looks like now and we know she doesn’t look like any of us already_!”

“ _THAT’S EXACTLY WHAT ROSE QUARTZ WOULD SAY_!” Army said before jumping on the table and running straight for Eyeball.

“What the--?” Eyeball said as Army leapt upon her, slapping her. “ _HEY_!”

“ _Come on, show me what you got!_ ” Army said as she continued to slap.

In response, Eyeball grasped Army’s arm then swung her into the table, breaking it in half with a loud crack.

Army laid in the wreckage of the table, moaning for a moment.

“Okay ...” Army said with a cough. “That was pretty good, Rose.”

“I’M NOT ROSE QUA--” But Eyeball was interrupted by Doc tackling her.

“Don’t worry, Ruby!” said Doc to Army. “ _I’ll save you from Rose Quartz_!”

Eyeball’s normal eye twitched for a moment before her face turned a deeper shade of red.

“ ** _GAAAAAAAAH_**!” Eyeball screamed. She shoved Doc off of her, picked her up, then suplexed her on top of Army, crashing the table into smaller pieces. Eyeball then turned and glared at Navy.

Navy gasped and put her hands up.

“No no, please, I surrender!” she said.

Eyeball seemed to relax and look back down at Doc and Army. As soon as she turned away, Navy lifted up her chair and threw it at Eyeball. It connected and staggered her back, but didn’t knock her down. She glared at Navy.

Navy was still for a moment, a blush on her cheeks.

“Oh my,” Navy said before she started running around the room. Eyeball chased after her, screaming.

Army and Doc remained in a pile, unable or unwilling to stand up.

Leggy, meanwhile, still sat in her chair. She stared downward, thinking about what Navy had said, how Leggy had said she was Rose Quartz...

“Maybe I really _am_ Rose Quartz ...” Leggy muttered to herself.

That seemed like a big deal! She figured she needed do something about that right away.

Leggy slowly rose from her chair and walked out of the room, while Eyeball still chased after Navy.

* * *

 

“Hello?” Leggy said as she opened the massive, towering door to the throne room.

Yellow Diamond sat on her throne, many screens surrounding her. She didn’t appear to notice Leggy at all. Not that surprising, considering Yellow Diamond was so much taller than her even seated.

“My Diamond?” Leggy said walking deeper inside. “I have something important to--”

“ _Excuse me_!”

Leggy looked down and saw a Yellow Pearl walk towards her. She must have been standing next to the throne. She pointed a finger in Leggy’s chest.

“Who are you?” the Pearl said. “Do you have an appointment?”

“Um ... no,” Leggy said.

“Then how did you get past security?”

Leggy thought hard.

“I ... walked around them?” Leggy said.

The Pearl blinked in disbelief.

“Well, you better get out of here before--”

“Who is it, Pearl?” Yellow Diamond said, still staring and tapping at her screen. Even though she wasn’t shouting, her voice still filled the room.

The Pearl flinched, then turned around towards Yellow Diamond.

“Some Ruby who has--”

“ _I’m Rose Quartz_!” Leggy shouted. “I’ve come to turn myself in!”

Yellow Diamond stopped tapping. She peered over her screens, staring at the Ruby. Leggy felt very small under her gaze.

Yellow Diamond waved her hand, pushing all her screens out the way. She leaned forward.

“ _Come again_?” she said firmly.

The Pearl’s eyes darted to Leggy nervously. She stepped away from Leggy, as if wanting to distance herself from her as much as possible.

Leggy straightened up and tried to ignore the shaking in her knees.

“I’m ... Rose Quartz,” Leggy said, somewhat quieter this time.

Yellow Diamond only stared.

“No. You’re not,” she said.

“But ... I must be!” Leggy said. “I mean, I fit the description. I’m short and stocky and over-enthusiastic and ...”

Yellow Diamond rubbed her temple and sighed.

“Pearl,” she said.

The Pearl straighten up. “Yes, my Diamond?”

“I’m busy,” Yellow Diamond said. She waved her hand. “Please handle this.”

“Of course, my Diamond!” The Pearl took Leggy’s hand. “Come along with me.”

The Pearl walked Leggy back towards the door.

“Am I under arrest?” Leggy said.

“Yes, sure,” the Pearl said, rolling her eyes. “Just come with me.”

The Pearl walked Leggy outside the door. Then she stepped back inside the throne room.

“ _And don’t come back_!” the Pearl shouted. She slunk back inside and then the doors shut with a massive thud.

Leggy sat down in front of the doors and waited.

After all, she was under arrest, so she was certain someone would come and tell her what to do in a moment.

It was almost an hour before Leggy stood up, starting to suspect maybe she wasn’t actually being detained.

* * *

Leggy walked out into the street, unsure of what to do. She wasn’t under arrest ... she couldn’t go back to the other Rubies because she was Rose Quartz. Her only option, she figured, was to keep being a rebel.

But Leggy didn’t know the first thing about being a rebel! This seemed really unfortunate considering she was apparently their leader.

“I guess I should ask some of my other rebels about it ...” Leggy said. Leggy looked up at the stars towards a distant galaxy she had been to not long ago.

“I need to go ... home ...”

**Author's Note:**

> This is very loosely based on a post by DirectorHachi found [here](http://directorhachi.tumblr.com/post/165786572964/i-like-to-think-that-yellow-diamond-has-been). 
> 
> Also thanks to [e350tb](https://archiveofourown.org/users/E350tb/pseuds/E350tb) for originally suggesting the idea of Leggy actually thinking she's Rose Quartz when I brainstormed for this idea.


End file.
